Diary of Anais Nin, Volume 5 by Anais Nin

Author:Anais Nin [Stuhlmann, Gunther]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

At the Fourteenth Street Spanish shop I buy guava paste and a mantilla for my mother's birthday.

Relationship with Jim Herlihy endangered because I cannot love his play Moon in Capricorn and he needs my total admiration. The slightest hint of unacceptance disturbed him deeply. The dialogue ceased to be sincere.

***

During several trips to Venice, Ian Hugo again filmed everything which moved him, without any preconceived plan, and when he edited it he achieved an image of Venice never attained before, as it included the past, the present, the fantasy and the reality of Venice, in layers suggesting infinite dimensions.

We are living in the age of the image but this means not only that we can register more perfectly with cameras the external image, but that we can now also penetrate and photograph our inner life as if with an undersea camera. Our unconscious life is composed of free associations of ideas, fragments of memories, musical flow of impressions, or symbolic scenes. In our dreams and in our fantasies we are all surrealists, impressionists, abstractionists, symbolists. The camera more exactly than words is capable of reflecting this inner life and revealing the metamorphosis which takes place between a realistic scene and the way our moods color, distort, or alter the scene as through a prism.

The freedom of improvisation expressed in Ian Hugo's films corresponds to our emotional life, which is continuously projecting and retaining on our inner screen previous images. A face we are looking at will suddenly recall another face out of the past by way of a slight resemblance, and the image from the past will blur and interfere with the present face. As James Joyce tried to capture the form of our inner monologues which accompany but do not match the flow of our talk, Ian Hugo emphasizes the simultaneous levels of experience: a mixture of dreams, memories, and immediate impressions. He also seeks to capture how our thoughts jump from scene to scene in an apparently unrelated way, to better match the structure of our emotional life, which is fluid, symphonic, and composed on several levels at once. In this way these films do not represent merely the personal vision of Ian Hugo, his impressions of Mexico or Venice, but a way of seeing and remembering common to all of us if we caught our first flow of impressions before organizing them into an artificial chronology and pattern. A conventional rational sequence does not necessarily correspond to the way we feel or remember a journey or the events of our life. And if these dark and wayward realms of the heart seem dark and confused at times, it is only because we have not yet thrown enough light upon them. For example, we do not remember journeys or the events of our lives in chronological order, but as in the film Ai-Ye, the death of a man evokes the memory of a dead tree, and the dead tree evokes the image of a dead dog, until, as in a musical composition, the theme of death is completed.

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